Diego Lamas
"That's a true statement. You're not with me, you're against me; everyone is against me." -'Diego Lamas' Diego Andres Louise Akria Hugo Wook Willie Spidar Santaiago Shang James Kilber Gavin Brogan Coby Barnabe September Casey Makoto Barthalomew Klone Montana Mulan Devine Lamas (also called Louise) was a laboratory distaster by Kilber Klone Industries. He was supposed to be a Jace Klone but he was eventually rejected and thrown away to his adoptive parents, who gave him many middle names. He used to be enemies with SP, but he eventually joined them because Greg was on their team. Unfortunately, that became his downfall when he tried to stop Greg in the Raging War until his rebirth in the year 2099. Diego leads a squad of men called the "Mario Hackerz" He also has a love problem with QR Code Backpack, Blackfire, Blackfire's sister, Tea, Olivia, and Tre. Life Dark Beginnings One rainy day in 1999, Kilber Klone Industries was working on a cloning formula. They were trying to clone their newborn son, Jace. So they took his DNA and converted it into another being. However, the formula was not perfect, so the baby came out of the chamber not looking at all how they anticipated. The scientists were disgusted and branded him the name, "Go Die". They threw him out the window and then the wind carried far across the country. While the wind was blowing him, it switched the words "Go Die" into "Die Go". Then the baby arrived at the Lamas household. Mr. and Mrs. Lamas went outside and then they saw that a baby. Mr. Lamas said, "Die go...Die go... his name is Diego!!!". So they took him in and named him several different names. Early Life and Love Interests Diego was sent to (coincidentally) the same school as SP and everyone else. He was the tallest of the class, one of the basketball players, but he wasn't that enjoyed. In fact, in Mr Rolwing's game he was in the Oh's, an outcast team. He also met his life's love, QR Code Backpack. They started dating for a time and realized this was a serious relationship. Every thing was ok with Diego at the moment, but it all went downhill from there. After Middle School, he made plans to propose to her but then he fell in love with SwissGear Backpack. Heartbroken, QR Code broke up with Diego and hoped to never see him again. Even worse, he was expelled from the school for cheating on QR Code. His family looked down on him forced him to move out. To pay for a tiny one room apartment, he worked 20 hours for 3 days a week at a bar as a bartender. Diego was also constantly getting beat up by gangs. It was all going horrible until Logan Clone found him and gave him an amazing offer... Diego vs Vincent Logan Clone built a cyborg spider body for Diego (after suffering so much against the gangs) and offered him entire countries in his world domination. In return, Diego had to kill Vincent Bush, his old schoolmate. Logan Clone armed Diego with laser beams and revolvers. Finally, it was time. During the fight, Diego went through three forms of his spider self. But the one thing Diego did not have saved Vincent from destruction. That one thing was aim. Diego missed every shot and failed so bad. Vincent ended up Falcon Punching Diego so hard that his cyborg parts flew off and he flew into space Team Rocket style. Diego vs Batman After landing back on Earth (Canada, to be specific), Diego was horrible. The punch shredded away a part of his face and revealed his cyborg skeleton. Ashamed of his new form, he robbed a nearby store. Unfortunately, he was only able to rob a fedora, one sneaker, and a watch. Also more gangs wanted to beat him up there so he used his emergency lightsabers and one sword from the fight. The old low after middle school was nothing compared to living in alleys taking food from cats. One day, he was eating with pigeons until he heard a large thunder noise. Suddenly, he saw the Scarlet Speedster, Flash, racing with Quicksilver. Flash was taking it easy until Quicksilver tripped on a rock and died. So Barry Allen stopped and met with Adam West (AKA Batman), who was recording the race. He pulled out a reviving machine and revived Quicksilver. Then Barry and Quicksilver began racing again. Diego thought to himself, "Maybe if I can get my body back I can get my life back!". So right before Batman was going to enter the Batmobile to chase the Speedsters, Diego approached him. "Excuse me sir, can I use that fancy machine on myself?". Frightened, Adam socked Diego in the face and got in the car. Diego, angered, pulled out his weapons to fight Adam. Diego stabbed Adam but Adam revived himself. So he could throw infinite punches at Diego. The fight eventually led to a rooftop, where Diego pushed Batman off and knocked him out. He took the revival machine and restored himself. Then he put the machine back in Adam's pocket and calmly walked away. Redemption The first thing Diego did was hitchhike back to the Lamas house. There he was greeted with a surprising warm welcome. He wandered his home town and realized that Greg was also beaten. Together they realized they could fight for justice, so they went to join SP. Logan was a little skeptical at first, but Paolo and Vincent welcomed the two with open arms. Supplying information from the other team, Diego and Greg soon became highly established members of the Smartiest Persons. They participated in many wars together and became the best of friends. However, Greg constantly kept teasing Diego about not having a girlfriend at the time (Greg had like 4). This all changed when one day... Blackfire: Starfire's Sister One day Diego was at Walgreens buying Steam Cards for games when across the street he saw the Teen Titans fighting some of their foes. Among them was Deathstroke the Terminator (AKA Slade), The Brain, Killer Moth, Cinderblock, and Blackfire. Diego instantly fell in love with the villainous Blackfire and went home happy. The next day at an SP meeting, they were discussing the downfall of the Teen Titans and were ready to send in backup. As Logan was naming all of the villains on the holoboard, he stopped and forgot who Blackfire was. Suddenly Diego burst out, "STARFIRE'S SISTER, STARFIRE'S SISTER!". Everyone in the room turned slowly towards Diego. Diego slowly and badly recovered saying he was just doing research on the Teen Titans after he saw them. Vincent replied with a long "Riiiiiigggggghhhhhhtttttttt..." as everyone proceeded with the meeting. The next day SP stood proud over Jump City ready to fight the villains. Vincent fought Slade, Paolo fought Killer Moth, Logan fought Cinderblock, Greg fought The Brain, and Diego flirtingly fought Blackfire. All the time he tried to make flirty jokes that would gain her interest but all of them ended with a blast to the face. Rejection Diego was busy stalking Blackfire when she was busy destroying a forest and was caught in one of the explosions. Diego yelped in agony. Blackfire heard it and flew towards Diego. Blackfire: "Would you get out of my life! I don't like you OK!" Diego burst into tears and layed on the floor while Blackfire left to pester the Titans. At Titans HQ Starfire tried to bond with Blackfire, but Blackfire just pushed her away and threw her through the building and left. Now Diego and Starfire had enough rejection, so they both plotted to earn Blackfire's love. Starfire bought an air balloon to take her on a calm heartwarming flight through the sky, while Diego just saw it and ripped her off with the same idea. Diego vs Starfire Both Starfire and Diego arrived at her hiding place in Illinois and were infuriated that the other had to come at a time like this. Starfire: "IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TRYING TO TAKE MY SISTER AWAY FROM ME" Diego: "B-b-UT i NEED LUV, LIKE RYTE NAW!" Starfire: "NOT TODAY!" Starfire than grabbed Diego and smashed him into the ground and pounded her fists into him. Diego said "SHAZAM" and launched her off of him. Diego "I am Black Llama, and this is the end for you!" Diego then launched at Starfire and punched her and said Shazam so many times the lightning bolts burnt her to a crisp. He then threw Starfire all the way to Gotham Town. Diego: "Well, now we that we are alone..." Blackfire: "Um no, don't like bald guys." Diego: "NAOOOOOOOHWWWWW!!!!!" Diego then proceeded to leave and fly back to SP HQ. Blackfire or Backpack? A few months later Diego was in a crisis, he was fantasizing about BlackFire,but he still had a backpack for a girlfriend. Diego decided to kill his backpack and go after Blackfire once more. With his love for Blackfire rekindled and burning more than ever, he ventured off to earn her love and fight for SP at the same time. Revenge of the Klones One day when Greg was sick, Diego had to cover both his own and Greg's squad for a battle. During the battle, Diego noticed they were fending off his creators, the Kilber Klones. He went all rage mode and took out most of them. After they wrapped the battle up, Klone Kommander 29-09 wanted revenge on Diego. So he took his men and used their supercomputer to find out Diego's Klone assets. Using this they made a new monstrosity: DIEGO KLONE! Diego Klone was a green Klone twice the size of normal Diego and was extremely dangerous. Next in their plan was to get his attention. Stalking Diego, Kommander 29-09 thought that Diego and Blackfire were dating. So the Kommander went to Blackfire's apartment and as soon as she opened the door shot her in the spine. Now that they had their tank and their bait, the Klones waited for Diego to come to them in their island off the coast of New Orleans called Klonrkahm. Assault on Klonrkahm Diego set out to stalk Blackfire like any other day, except this time she was not their to blast him back. He searched all over and could not find her. What he did find however in his SP office was a Klone test tube. So he was about to go off to rescue his damsel when Paolo burst into Diego's office. Paolo said that his battle report against the klones still needed to be filled out and dumped a pile of paperwork on his desk. As soon as Paolo left the room, Diego jumped out the window in and said "Shazam!" to rescue his girl. He also took his squad of men called the "Mario Hackerz" in two gunships. Once they reached the island, Diego and his men jumped out and landed without any attempts at stealth. They burst out guns blazing wrecking Klone tanks along the way. Eventually they reached the control room of Klonrkahm, where Klone Kommander 29-09 was waiting. Klone Kommander mocked Diego as he revealed Blackfire strapped to a nuke that would blow up Klonrkahm. He also pulled out the green goliath Diego Klone, who wore a heart monitor that if he died blew up the nuke. Diego zapped the Kommander dead and now it was just Diego, Diego Klone, and Blackfire. Diego vs Diego The fight commenced with Diego Klone gaining the upper hand, smashing Diego through brick walls. Diego's lightning would have no affect on Diego Klone without killing him, so Diego was severely disadvantaged. The green goliath pounded Diego so hard that he couldn't even move. As he prepared the final blow, Diego realized what must be done. He quickly blasted the rope holding Blackfire and told her to get away. As he locked eyes with the Klone, Diego let out one last mighty, "SHAZAM!!!!" killing Diego Klone and blowing up the island. Blackfire, barely made it outside the bomb radius, was blasted all the way to the nearby city of New Orleans. After landing, she felt terrible for Diego as she flew back to find his body. Searching through piles of rubble, she finally found his body not in Black Lama form (with hair). Blackfire blamed herself for his death and for all the ignorance she gave him. As she cried, through some random space magic Diego was brought back to life. Diego was so happy to be alive and have the love of his life. The two were about to share a kiss until Paolo suddenly appeared out of no where and yelled at Diego for destroying and island and not filling out his paperwork. Paolo ordered his men to take the Mario Hackerz back to base for medical attention and to take Diego back to base. As Diego was leaving, Blackfire flew up to him and gave him a genuine thank you kiss on the cheek and flew away. Diego was so happy that they were finally a couple he started dancing to YMCA as Paolo was barfing in the corner because of the corniness. Relationship Issues Of course issues were to be expected when Diego (a superhero) started dating Blackfire (a supervillian). Not to mention most of them were caused by the Smartiest Persons, who considered it "against their ethics". One of these problems came during a date at McDonalds were Paolo snuck a bomb in Blackfire's purse almost killing the two. Diego got really angry at his friends but they just told him it wasn't right. Diego ignored their advice and continued his happy go lucky life. Another time at a date in Adventure Dome Paolo and Vincent had the whole place surrounded with their troops, snipers, and spies all over the park. This infuriated Diego even more because now they were just flat out stalking them. He pleaded for them to leave his love life alone because he finally had someone to brag to Greg about. After 16 sabotage attempts, they finally left him alone with a warning that she was still a villain. Betrayal One day Roodfire was building a plan to tear apart SP from the inside, so he enlisted the help of the Tameran armies to get Diego. The Tamerans contacted Blackfire and told her that if she delivered Diego to their hands she would no longer be considered a galactic threat and the space cops would stop chasing her. Blackfire thought long and hard about this and finally decided to turn Diego in. So she told Diego to meet her on the moon to watch a comet or something. Diego happily agreed. But as soon as his ship arrived, Tameranian forces surrounded him with heavy artillery. Having his Black Llama powers significantly lowered since the incident, Diego counted on Blackfire to help him out. But to his shock, Blackfire was floating in their ranks, ready to open fire. Diego was heartbroken and the Tameran forces took him to Roodfire. Blackfire felt a tremendous amount of guilt so she decided that it would be best to just fly around and forget about it. Torture Diego was brought to the throne of Roodfire, where he was put in slave clothes and forced to build up the Black Island on Planet Rood. They whipped him and other slaves with dark energon tipped whips, which hurt beyond any human's comprehension. And each night he was thrown into his cell with nothing but pictures of Freddie Mercury, Boba Fett, and Blackfire. The Blackfire picture haunted him day after day, week after week as he was slaved to build his enemy's kingdom. However, it was not just torture for Diego. Back on Earth, Blackfire was free to do whatever she wanted so for the sake of being good she joined her sister in the Teen Titans. While everyone else saw this as great news, Paolo and Vincent shamed her for what she did to Diego. The guilt of betraying Diego was weighing down on her even more each day. She knew she meant the world to Diego and betraying him shattered his soul into millions of pieces. The Quest to Rescue Diego One by one more SP members were enslaved until it was the big four left. They set an attack on Planet Rood with Primal and the Maximals to back them up. A day before the launch, Blackfire asked if she could join them. Greg responded with a firm "NO BECAUSE YOU BETRAYED DIEGO HOW COULD YOU". However, she snuck on the ship anyways. The ships flew to the Black Island and spared no expense in making their presence known. They were airdropped from the sky and charged at the Roodinite Army. Blood was shed as SP brutallity tore their way through the defenses. Blackfire did not fight as she continued to look for Diego. She found him wearing a "I love Planet Rood" shirt chained to pillars in a factory. Blackfire untied Diego's chains and suddenly was chocked by Diego, who was devastated that she betrayed him. Blackfire tried to apologize, but Diego saw none of it. All of a sudden, Roodfire himself burst into the room and fired a dark energy blast at both of them. He vowed that every SP member must die and prepared to run a sword through Diego's heart. However, in an act of true love, Blackfire jumped in front of the blade as Roodfire stabbed her. Diego realized that she really loved him as he let out a scream of horror. Out of sheer revenge, Diego roared out as he was cloaked in the dark armor of revenge. The two lunged at each other, but Diego quickly defeated Roodfire because he was extremely angry. All of SP was amazed at his fury so they took Roodfire away. Paolo turned around to see Diego weeping over Blackfire's body. Paolo said that they were all wrong about her and she would be buried with the greatest heroes of Earth. All of SP and the Titans attended the funeral. Eyes for Tea After Blackfire's death, Diego would spend his days sitting at SP Headquarters reminscing of his past. However, he could only seem to remember on girl.....TE'A. Diego jumped out of his seat with extreme excitement, Diego: "WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON! I AM A FURRY, SHES A FURRY, I LIKE WOLVES, SHE LIKES WOLVES!" Diego decided to then go on a conquest to find her. However sitting in the corner of the room was none other than....TRE POSTELLE. Tre: I'm not gonna let him take MY girl." Diego then traveled through America singing Up Town Funk the whole way through, however people who heard his voice shunned him and tried to ignore it as best they could. Arrival in Philadelphia Diego finally arrived in Philadelphia where Tea was. *knock* *knock* Diego: "IM HOME DEAR!" The door slowly creaked open, and none other than Tre was standing right in front of him. Diego:"wah??" Tre immediately transformed into his super form and launched Diego back 1,000s of feet with a perfectly timed punch. Diego got up and felt an electric vibe finally surging through his systems. Diego: "SHAZAM!" Now the 2 lightning powered titans stood face to face. Black Llama: "Te'a is mine.....AND ONLY MINE!" Tre:"I doubt she even remember you and your bald head!" Black Llama:" YOURE DEAD, POSTELLE!" They both launched at one another breaking the sound barrier and the 2 bolts crashed into eachother, thinking one would move out of the way. Tre got up and hurled a building at Black Llama which was easily disintegrated by Black Llama's lightning. Tre:"GAHHH!YOU RIPOFF! I HAD ELECTRIC POWERS FIRST!" Black Llama:"WEL-!" Black Llama was then kicked out of the way another electric powered hero, STATIC SHOCK. Static:"Well this is shocking! You two guys are in my town!" Tre:"Get out of here Static, this is a fight for my true love, Te'a. Te'a then arrived on the scene from looking at them fighting over her on the news. The End of another Relationship Te'a:"I don't like either of you so stop! I don't even know the bald one!" Black Llama heart was broken at that instance, and he immediately reverted back to Diego without even saying shazam. Tre: "Well, I'm out of here....bye Te'a." Static Shock then left as well. Te'a left too. But Diego...Diego had enough of being heartbroken OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Diego got up and charged every last single cell of his body with electricity and shot it into the clouds, causing a gigantic electric tornado to appear. Diego:"RAGHHHH! TE'A COME BACK TO MEEEEEEE!" Superman then came by and swooped Diego out from the middle of the tornado and brought him back to SP Headquarters. Diego woke up in his favorite comfy chair and immediately remembered what had happened. All of SP surrounded him. Logan:"You okay Diego?" Greg:"I'm sorry you got your heart broken, Diego." Vincent:"But remember, we always got your back." Paolo:"Except for Skippy12 he hates you." Diego:"Thanks guys....but I go by Dark Devine now...MUHAHAHAH!" Diego then faded into darkness. SP:" .......HIM." The Dark Devine After hearing Diego's new claim, SP began researching the entity known as the "Dark Devine," and what they found was rather disturbing. The Dark Devine was a title given to rulers that existed far back in the hidden cities in Peru. These beings were extremely powerful and could essentially destroy a France-sized country at their full power. The Devine ruled over the people using their dark magic powers, and they kept them in fear. Vincent Bush and Nolan Hairr traveled to the ancient Peruvian cities to learn the history found out that the Dark Devine had all died in a great war against some otherworldly invaders. Relationships Friends * Vincent Bush * Paolo Martinez * Logan Hall * Blackfire (former lover) * QR Code Backpack (former lover/friend) * Black Adam (1/1000 Father) Lovers * Tre (former lover) * Kenize Perry (kinda current lover) * Olivia Laning (former lover) * Johnny Cueto (1/1000 Father * Te'a (former lover) Enemies * Cody (twin brother) * Greg (rival) * Michael Blackwell (Roodfire)` * Gavin Other * Adam Sandler (1/1000 Father) *Benedict Cumberbatch (no affiliation) Biological DNA Bases Diego Lamas, being a failed Kilber Klone, was an accumulation of hundreds of different DNA samples. Here are some of the key ones: * Jace Kilber * The Dark Devine * Bruce Willis * Johnny Cueto * Adam Levine * Booker T Washington * A random Roodinite * A random Gavinite * Lewis Scola * King Richard V * Owen Wilson * Jessica Alba * Danny Trejo * Antonio Banderas * Brendan Fraser * Adam Sandler __FORCETOC__ Category:Main Characters Category:Heroes